No, seriously, what the hell?

Oh what the fuck, people. I'm gonna be honest with you, I do porn and even I'm just at a complete loss about this one. Lindsay Lohan is being offered $50,000 by a fetish website to do ... balloon porn. Seriously. Fully-clothed. No sex. Just come in, pop balloons, leave $50,000 richer. LOL WUT

A rep for Clips4Sale.com tells TMZ they sent the offer to Lindsay's lawyer -- if LiLo comes in and pops a few balloons -- on camera of course -- she'll leave $50,000 richer. No nudity. No whips. No chains. Confused? TMZ spoke to several balloon-popping enthusiasts who tell us the rush comes from "the feeling of fear associated with a balloon that may pop at any second." Who knew? SOURCE

... I have nothing to say about this. I'm just going to sit in my darkened apartment while I drink a bottle of vodka and listen to Pink Floyd's The Dark Side Of The Moon. God is dead.

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